# CI/CD Chaos - The Ultimate Overkill Pipeline
# A deliberately over-engineered GitLab CI pipeline that satirizes DevOps practices
# While demonstrating professional CI/CD implementation skills

stages:
  - phase-1-pre-flight-checks
  - phase-1-environment-validation
  - phase-1-dependency-verification
  - phase-1-code-formatting
  - phase-1-license-compliance
  - phase-1-security-scanning
  - phase-1-performance-analysis
  - phase-1-quality-gate-validation
  - phase-1-readiness-assessment
  - phase-2-build-preparation
  - phase-2-compilation-optimization
  - phase-2-artifact-generation
  - phase-2-quality-assurance
  - phase-2-integration-testing
  - phase-2-performance-benchmarking
  - phase-2-security-validation
  - phase-2-compliance-checking
  - phase-2-documentation-generation
  - phase-2-deployment-preparation
  - phase-2-rollback-testing
  - phase-2-health-verification
  - phase-3-environment-preparation
  - phase-3-service-orchestration
  - phase-3-load-balancing
  - phase-3-monitoring-setup
  - phase-3-alert-configuration
  - phase-3-health-checks
  - phase-3-performance-validation
  - phase-3-user-acceptance-testing
  - phase-3-production-deployment
  - phase-3-post-deployment-validation
  - celebration
  - chaos-report

variables:
  CI_CHAOS_LEVEL: 5
  ROAST_INTENSITY: 7
  CELEBRATION_MODE: "full"
  DEVELOPER_CHALLENGE: "true"
  PIPELINE_ENTROPY: "maximum"

default:
  before_script:
    - echo "🎪 CI/CD Chaos Pipeline Initiated"
    - echo "📊 Chaos Level: $CI_CHAOS_LEVEL"
    - echo "🔥 Roast Intensity: $ROAST_INTENSITY"
    - chmod +x scripts/*.sh

# Phase 1: Over-Validation (8 stages of excessive checking)
pre-flight-checks:
  stage: phase-1-pre-flight-checks
  script:
    - echo "✈️ Performing pre-flight validation..."
    - scripts/chaos-engine.sh pre-flight
    - echo "🛩️ Pre-flight checks completed with unnecessary thoroughness"
  artifacts:
    reports:
      junit: reports/pre-flight.xml
    paths:
      - reports/

environment-validation:
  stage: phase-1-environment-validation
  script:
    - echo "🌍 Validating build environment..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh validate-environment
    - echo "🏔️ Environment validated (probably)"

dependency-verification:
  stage: phase-1-dependency-verification
  script:
    - echo "📦 Verifying dependencies (triple-checking each one)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh verify-dependencies
    - echo "🎁 Dependencies verified and re-verified"

code-formatting-checks:
  stage: phase-1-code-formatting
  script:
    - echo "🎨 Checking code formatting (with excessive rules)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh format-check
    - echo "✨ Code formatted to perfection (and then some)"

license-compliance:
  stage: phase-1-license-compliance
  script:
    - echo "⚖️ Checking license compliance (analyzing every line)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh license-check
    - echo "📜 License compliance achieved through excessive scrutiny"

security-scanning:
  stage: phase-1-security-scanning
  script:
    - echo "🔒 Running security scans (looking for imaginary threats)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh security-scan
    - echo "🛡️ Security scan completed (found 0 vulnerabilities, created 47 false positives)"

performance-analysis:
  stage: phase-1-performance-analysis
  script:
    - echo "⚡ Analyzing performance (of files that don't exist)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh performance-analysis
    - echo "📈 Performance metrics generated with imaginary data"

quality-gate-validation:
  stage: phase-1-quality-gate-validation
  script:
    - echo "🚪 Validating quality gates (with arbitrary standards)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh quality-gate
    - echo "🎯 Quality gates passed (after lowering standards)"

readiness-assessment:
  stage: phase-1-readiness-assessment
  script:
    - echo "📋 Performing readiness assessment..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh readiness-check
    - echo "✅ System declared ready (whether it is or not)"

# Phase 2: Build Optimization (12 stages of over-engineering)
build-preparation:
  stage: phase-2-build-preparation
  script:
    - echo "🔧 Preparing build environment (overly prepared)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh build-prep
    - echo "🎯 Build environment prepared (excessively)"

compilation-optimization:
  stage: phase-2-compilation-optimization
  script:
    - echo "🔬 Optimizing compilation (optimizing the optimization)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh optimize-build
    - echo "🚀 Build optimized (probably made it slower)"

artifact-generation:
  stage: phase-2-artifact-generation
  script:
    - echo "📦 Generating artifacts (creating unnecessary ones)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh generate-artifacts
    - echo "🎁 Artifacts generated (including ones nobody asked for)"
  artifacts:
    paths:
      - build/
      - artifacts/

quality-assurance:
  stage: phase-2-quality-assurance
  script:
    - echo "🔍 Running quality assurance (finding problems where none exist)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh quality-assurance
    - echo "✅ Quality assured (quality level: questionable)"

integration-testing:
  stage: phase-2-integration-testing
  script:
    - echo "🔗 Running integration tests (testing the tests)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh integration-tests
    - echo "🎯 Integration tests passed (eventually)"

performance-benchmarking:
  stage: phase-2-performance-benchmarking
  script:
    - echo "⚡ Benchmarking performance (against imaginary standards)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh benchmark
    - echo "📊 Benchmarks completed (results may vary)"

security-validation:
  stage: phase-2-security-validation
  script:
    - echo "🔒 Validating security (again, for good measure)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh security-validation
    - echo "🛡️ Security validated (still secure, probably)"

compliance-checking:
  stage: phase-2-compliance-checking
  script:
    - echo "📋 Checking compliance (with made-up regulations)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh compliance-check
    - echo "✅ Compliance achieved (compliance level: fictional)"

documentation-generation:
  stage: phase-2-documentation-generation
  script:
    - echo "📚 Generating documentation (excessive documentation)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh generate-docs
    - echo "📖 Documentation generated (nobody will read it)"
  artifacts:
    paths:
      - docs/

deployment-preparation:
  stage: phase-2-deployment-preparation
  script:
    - echo "🚀 Preparing deployment (over-preparing)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh deploy-prep
    - echo "🎯 Deployment prepared (excessively)"

rollback-testing:
  stage: phase-2-rollback-testing
  script:
    - echo "↩️ Testing rollback capabilities (hoping we don't need them)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh rollback-test
    - echo "🔄 Rollback tested (and tested, and tested)"

health-verification:
  stage: phase-2-health-verification
  script:
    - echo "🏥 Verifying system health (checking vitals repeatedly)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh health-check
    - echo "💖 System health verified (patient is stable)"

# Phase 3: Deployment Chaos (10+ stages of unnecessary complexity)
environment-preparation:
  stage: phase-3-environment-preparation
  script:
    - echo "🌍 Preparing deployment environment (overly complex setup)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh env-prep
    - echo "🏝️ Environment prepared (like a 5-star resort)"

service-orchestration:
  stage: phase-3-service-orchestration
  script:
    - echo "🎻 Orchestrating services (conducting an orchestra of microservices)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh orchestrate
    - echo "🎼 Services orchestrated (beautifully, yet unnecessarily)"

load-balancing:
  stage: phase-3-load-balancing
  script:
    - echo "⚖️ Setting up load balancing (balancing nothing)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh load-balance
    - echo "🏋️ Load balanced (perfectly balanced, as all things should be)"

monitoring-setup:
  stage: phase-3-monitoring-setup
  script:
    - echo "📊 Setting up monitoring (monitoring everything, including the monitoring)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh monitoring
    - echo "📈 Monitoring set up (we can now monitor how much we monitor)"

alert-configuration:
  stage: phase-3-alert-configuration
  script:
    - echo "🚨 Configuring alerts (alerting on everything)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh alerts
    - echo "📢 Alerts configured (you will be notified of everything)"

health-checks:
  stage: phase-3-health-checks
  script:
    - echo "🏥 Setting up health checks (checking the health of health checks)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh health-checks
    - echo "❤️ Health checks configured (system is healthy, probably)"

performance-validation:
  stage: phase-3-performance-validation
  script:
    - echo "⚡ Validating performance (validating that performance validates)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh perf-validate
    - echo "🎯 Performance validated (performance is performing)"

user-acceptance-testing:
  stage: phase-3-user-acceptance-testing
  script:
    - echo "👥 Running user acceptance tests (testing with imaginary users)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh uat
    - echo "✅ UAT completed (users were satisfied, allegedly)"

production-deployment:
  stage: phase-3-production-deployment
  script:
    - echo "🚀 Deploying to production (with excessive ceremony)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh deploy-prod
    - echo "🎉 Deployment complete (celebrations commence)"
  when: manual
  allow_failure: false

post-deployment-validation:
  stage: phase-3-post-deployment-validation
  script:
    - echo "✅ Validating post-deployment state (validating that validation worked)..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh post-deploy
    - echo "🎯 Post-deployment validation successful (system is deployed, probably)"

# Celebration stage - ASCII art and humor
celebration:
  stage: celebration
  script:
    - echo "🎉 Initiating celebration sequence..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh celebrate
    - echo "🎊 Pipeline complete! The chaos has been worth it!"
  when: on_success
  allow_failure: true

# Chaos report generation
chaos-report:
  stage: chaos-report
  script:
    - echo "📊 Generating chaos report..."
    - ./scripts/chaos-engine.sh report
    - echo "📋 Chaos report complete. Your pipeline has been successfully over-engineered!"
  artifacts:
    paths:
      - reports/chaos-report.html
    reports:
      junit: reports/final-report.xml
  when: always
  allow_failure: true

# Include templates for different environments
include:
  - local: config/development.yml
  - local: config/production.yml